I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
I wish you could order shots online.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
