Pappa wants mamma naked
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
Woke up backwards on a recliner
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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