I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Oh god it's open bar.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
