Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
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