She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Randomize