sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
