I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Randomize
