I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
