ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
I take back everything I said about communal showers
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Randomize
