Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
He did a backflip because drugs
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