when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
im drinking this country out of the recession.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
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