did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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