i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
