hotel room ftw
Can i not drive my cunt home
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
