Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(212): View more from New York

her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum

(212): View more from New York

i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls

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(617): View more from Massachusetts

I can't watch pbs sober anymore

Fav 2 1171 735
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(508): View more from Massachusetts

Since when do you wear a bracelet?

(603): View more from New Hampshire

Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs

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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.

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(478): View more from Georgia

this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.

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(832): View more from Houston, Texas

My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am

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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.

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(248): View more from Michigan

My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween

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(612): View more from Minnesota

Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??

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