she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
