Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
