saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Randomize