I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
Randomize
