I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
Randomize
