i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
