I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Randomize
