what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Floor bacon is actually really good
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
