My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize
