I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
