my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Randomize
