p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
