a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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