Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
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