The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
pop tarts are not kleenex
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
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