Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
so let's talk penis.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Randomize
