I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize