I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
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