I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
