I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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