Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Randomize
