Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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