i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
