Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
