ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Randomize
