He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Randomize
