now i know why i became what i already was.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
Randomize
