Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
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