so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Randomize