i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
