dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Randomize
