Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
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