that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Randomize
