Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
