My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Someone shattered a urinal.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
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