Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
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