"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
