I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
My breath smells like gin and sadness
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