I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Randomize
