every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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