we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Randomize
