i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
Randomize
