Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Randomize