I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize