Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
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