Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
