Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
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