He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
