no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
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