ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
