you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize
