it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
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