actually, I'm a sock model
Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
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